Saturday 2.25am 30th March 2019

Assalamualaikum,

I can't sleep so here I am typing to everyone who is reading my blog..
As promise, I will share my experience with you when I went to BTS LOVE YOURSELF CONCERT IN Singapore which is in 19th January 2019.

I went with my mum (who booked the tickets for us), my 10 years old Niece and my mum's two friends who lives BTS as well.. Mum decide to go early so that we can have a bite before the concert and walk around to see the booths. That very day, the feeling did not really sunk in to me yet and I felt like going out with my mum to help her with shopping.

Upon reaching Kallang Stadium, what I saw was a shocked to my life. The whole Kallang area is full of ARMY. Right, left centre, back and everywhere you look there's ARMY. How do I know?? Obviously with the amount of BTS  merchandises people are holding. I could not eat anything as I was literally shocked and amazed seeing ARMY.

Well, I bought ARMY Bomb online (actually my husband bought it for me). Mum send me the link to buy it online but it turns out to be faked.( FACE LOVE). I only realised it was fake on the day of the concert itself when we can't connect to the Army Bomb app. So me and mum went to buy another one at the concert itself. P.S NEVER Buy Army BOMB ONLINE.
After buying and setting up our Army Bomb, we went to look for the Queue and we start to line up and OMG!!! the line of the Q is so long and it goes like a snake. It took us quite a while to wait for our turn.

We have to go for security check. The securities checked through our bags and we can't bring our water in. The water bottles must be empty. We got to our seats after collecting our slogans that Singapore Army did just for the concert and while waiting for the concert to start they played BTS music videos. Our seats was not really near the stage but we can really see clearly through the screen.

Concert Starts and omg it is like a dream, which I still thinks I had a dream of going to BTS concert.7 beautiful good looking men Standing on the Stage is just making your heart drop( mic drop!) Their stage presence is amazing. Their performances are amazing. Their LIVE Singing is exactly how you listen to on audio as for me its Spotify 😜

Overall it is truly amazing and awesome concert and it is not a waste of money. The experiences you get and feel is hard to describe. Hearing the fans chanting BT S individual name. Cheering and singing to every songs I It was magnificent.

So Army out there if people talk shit about BTS let them cause we BTS fans are the only one who knows how truly great  these boys are. They can dance and sing live. continue to give support to them it all matters besides, they are now the worldwide idols.

So that's it for now. Type to you again soon goodnight.
Ps Can't wait for their comeback on April 12th and its one day after my  36th Birthday.

Sunday 17 March 2019 12.09am

Assalamualaikum..

Well first of all I know I was supposed to share my experience on my first time going to BTS concert but I decided not for now until I switch on my laptop haha. Apologise to all.. I'm just to plain lazy n too preoccupied on other things to just switch on my laptop. And you might be asking what am I using to type today blog. I'm just using my handphone. 😅😜

Today, I'm here to just share with you about what I plan to do with my life.
After my miscarriage, I try to pull myself back up and I end up thinking again what to do with my life besides being a mum and a wife. With lots and lots of thinking and planning, I finally decide what to do.

At first I thought of doing online home business and just stay at home but after promoting the items and sharing them on my social medias, doing house chores I have nothing to do and I was bored. Haha figures right. So I end up sending my resume to start getting myself a job while doing this online home business. Those who wants to know what I'm selling follow me in Instagram at @manis.anis.familia and Facebook page Manis Anis.

I also decide that while waiting to get a job, promoting my home business I want to start changing myself to be a better me. Religiously, physically, emotionally and mentally.

Firstly, I decide to get closer to Allah S.W.T, start praying and start reading the Quran. Of course that too had goals for me to achieve.

Secondly, I want to start gaining weight, eat healthy, start eating supplements and start working out and definitely I want to quit smoking.

Thirdly, once I get a job I start saving money, take some courses or learn other languages just to improve myself and save up and travel to see the world. The nature and its beauty.
Of course once I start working and have the income, I will make sure that my kids are living a healthy lifestyle as well.

I know its hard but I will take one step at a time to achieve my goals and dreams.
With this, I end today's blog. I will type out my experiences about the BTS concert soon. Can't wait to use my new  BTS mouse pad haha.
So good night and will type to you soon.

Lots of loves, hugs and kisses
Lyea Li (LL)

Thursday 07/03/2019 12.26pm

Assalammualaikum

Its been a while since i type here in this blog. A lot of  stuffs happen the past few months and I'm just getting back on my feet. Since its been awhile, i will do it in months and dates for whatever happen in my life. Especially to those i remember clearly.

7 December 2018, Friday
Went to Yishun Polyclinic and i confirmed that i am pregnant with my 4th child.

13 and 14 December 2018 Thurs night and Friday
notice spotting after i went for groceries shopping on Thursday night and my 3rd born is having a fever.

15 December 2018 Saturday
Send my 3rd born to the doctor and was diagnosed with HFMD. And i started bleeding

19 December 2018 Wednesday
While Mr husband is at home looking after BabyWan who is having one week mc for HFMD, me and my first born, my one and only babygirl went to Kadang Kerbau Hospital (KKH). It was confirm that my baby has no heartbeat and I'm having a miscarriage. My heaven baby was only 8 weeks old.

28 December 2018 Friday
Mr Husband accompanied me to the hospital. Baby Heaven (BH) is still in me and still 8 weeks only. Make appt for surgery to remove BH in January. I broke down.

29 December 2018 Saturday
Started to feel stomach cramp around 4 plus in the evening after shower. After Magrib around 8 plus in the evening, I'm stuck in the toilet for almost 2 hours as i was bleeding out blood clots. It ends around 10. I was weak and almost fainted.

30th December 2018 Sunday
Went to emergency ward together with Mr Husband and BabyWan around 1 plus in the afternoon. Had a slight fever.Doctor say there are still some balance foetus in my womb. Have to do emergency washing as i was still bleeding, looking pale for losing a lot of blood and was having fever.
6pm to 7.30 pm I did went to emergency surgery for evacuation of the uterus.. Was asleep during the surgery. Stay in hospital for a night.
I was feeling broken and empty inside, and yet  i still give a smile and say I AM FINE. The day where BH totally left me.

I'm not sure if  I recovered from the lost, or did I move on from what had happen. My brain and my heart just keep telling me that i need to be strong and push myself to move on for my other children.
I still broke down and cry myself to sleep once in a while seeing pregnant ladies walking around or seeing baby products. It hurts me deeply, but i know BH is waiting for me in Heaven and Allah has better plans for me.

After the incident, i distance myself from my family and my in laws. They were not really there for me and i felt that i have to go through it all alone. I did not voice out anything to anyone on how i feel. I basically just keep my mouth shut. pushing myself up and move on.  I started to do on line business and still looking for a job but that will be another time when i type out my blog.

I will type out my next blog soon In Shaa Allah, telling you about my online business and my experience when i went to BTS Love Yourself Concert.
Till then....


Lots of hugs, kisses and loves
from yours truly
Lyea Li (LL)